And One for Your Friend

I’m still smiling as I recall this short, but super sweet episode that happened earlier this evening.

I went to treat myself to some ice cream (self-care activity.) I was on my way to the second ice cream store, having not been able to decide what to get in the first. I thought maybe walking a bit longer might give me some more time to deliberate over which flavor to choose. A very, very important decision. I also decided to turn my phone off at that point (another self-care activity, believe it or not). And so I was actually able to think and check in with myself.

I was feeling a bit disheartened as I was walking along – I’ve been trying to speak to Hashem on a more regular basis, and I’d just not been in the mood the past couple of days. I had lots and lots to say, but somehow I wasn’t feeling it. I just wanted to use my phone, speak to friends, share with family – not speak to Hashem, but I knew that I would probably feel better if I did. Still, there was some sort of disconnect and there was just no flow. Does Hashem really care, does He want to hear from me? The only thing I felt I could muster was, “Hashem, I really do want to speak to You, my heart is bursting with things to say, a lot has happened over the past few days – but I’m just not feeling it… Maybe find me a good spot to be able to sit in quiet that will help facilitate the flow, or just make it easier for me to want to share with you.”

As I approached the ice cream store, I saw the shutters were slightly lowered but the doors were open. The workers were inside and the lights were on.

“Sagur,” I was told. “We’re closed”

Oh.

I could see the ice cream behind the counter.

“You’re closed? No ice cream?”

“Lo, slicha.”

There was a pause as I stood there, disappointment clearly written all over my face. I heard another worker in the back say something to her friend, and then she said to me, “Here, take the ice coffee – free.” She reached her hand inside the freezer. “One for you…” she said, and then, with a smile, she took a second one out – “And one for your friend.”

I left with a “Todah raba”. Then stopped in my tracks outside the store and looked down at an ice coffee in each hand.

And felt like dancing.

“And one for your Friend.”

I sat on a bench nearby, silently giggling to myself looking down at the two ice coffees. Will we ever know the exact messages Hashem is trying to tell us in a world of Divine concealment? I don’t think we can ever know exactly. But we can try and guess. We must try and guess. I felt His love, His desire for a relationship, His desire to hear my voice, however broken, however mundane, however complaint-filled. However unholy.

“Karov Ha’Shem l’chol kor’av, l’chol asher yikrahu b’emes” – Hashem is close to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. (Tehillim 145)

He wanted to hear from me. And He was demonstrating this desire to me through an ice coffee. That was my guess tonight.

“One for you, and one for your Friend.”

The sweetest words I’d heard all day.